My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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