My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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