i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
