im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
