Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize