Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
