the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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