How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
