I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
