we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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