Don't you send me to vm
You work out of a Hotel?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
