We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
