Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize