I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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