so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
