everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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