Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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