I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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i don't really know how much tequila is too much
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
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New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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