So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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