I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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