I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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