ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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