i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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