Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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