Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i think my mom watched the whole time
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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