Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Couch. On fire.
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