you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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