I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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