I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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