i think i have herpe
just one?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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