I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
