I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
