I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize