dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
