That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
