he wants to bone in the snuggie
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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