I got chris browned last night
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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