my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
two words...techno handjob
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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