Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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