when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
