There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
