Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
