she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
