Will you blow on my dice?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
