I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
