Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
