I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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