This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
