I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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