Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
