I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
