i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
