Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I FOUND THE LEGS
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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