He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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