We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
