Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
