genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize