just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
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i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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