my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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