So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize