that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
