I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
