i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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